Thursday, November 29, 2007

Undiplomatically me!

I suck! I am such a damn sweet talker! A boring one at that too. Phokat ka philosophy, phokat ka senti jhaarna jaise aadat hi ho gayi hain.. Buss ab aur nahi! Right here right now i kiss goodbye forever (forever? haha!) all my jhaaras, all those bouncer sentis, all those lifey lifey talks of eighty year olds, and from today be the freest entity in the world, a sonnavabitch!
A strong disclaimer at the outset to all those to refrain from reading my blogs who think an occasional bitching isnt a good thing, or F-talks are for the elderly, or jealousy isnt a virtue, or that crap has its limits!Back off.For the rest, Here i go..
My only problem in life till now was my extreme urge to please everybody i met each day!To start with, lets break this rule number one of not-to-be done things in my earlier goody goody world. I was discussing this topic with an old friend of mine yesterday and here is the combined intellectual worth of me and her of the most irritating character traits in perople we have run into in our lives so far. Your categorization is your business.
Bad language skills: They are the biggest no-nos. I dont have any problems with people who are genuinely bad at languages.After all even my sporting skills suck. But those who carry on big tags in Orkut like "Languages known: English(US) " big shots littering around public conversations or Orkut scrapbooks with "make"-friendship -with-me" requests or "I am best person for friendship"(wheres the "the " dude!!!) cut copy pasting cheesy one liners to hundreds of unknown girls/boys everyday, boy! you are already judged and trashed in my mind! You need not write Shakespeare or speak Lincoln, if you care not include your mother tongue/Hindi in the list of your languages known on Orkut, better mind your articles and prepositions the next time on!

SMS retarded: With lotsa pyaar and remembrances you send someone an SMS reminding that its the same day last year that some amusing incident happened or blah blah and how much fun it was, right? And after about an hour of waiting for a reply,all that you get back is a dry moronic single alphabet, "K....." !!!!

Cell maniacs: There are on the other extreme.You are about to cut your birthday cake, he gets a call.You are on a single dinner with her, there comes a call. And off you spend the complete time playing hide n seek with your spoon in the soup bowl, and then the starters, the main course and the dessert, but without regret, the call goes on! Just had a thought why are the most important people for them are always on the other side of the phone and never besides them? Its time u gave it a serious thought.

I f****** hate Himesh.You too kya?-types: I absolutely hate Himesh, Rakhi Sawant is so raw and gross na? --type folks who bring out fake morchas for everything under the sun and never miss any occasion when they joined the ‘cool’ people and laughed at all these things just to sound like them, grown up, and all this., joined a couple of Anti-Ekta Kapoor/Rakhi Sawant orkut communities, and profess to be the opinionated intellectual of this age!Good, you have a mind of your own and u dare show it off,but at least not after having Aashique Banaya aapne as your hello tune for months or after watching Rakhi Sawant day in and night out in her bare essentials in the "Pardesia" video! Fakeism stinks Boss! But then i absoloodle agree, Apna Himessss sucks!

There are many many more of such losers in all shapes and sizes. But its midnight and i better call it a day before i get back to my earlier touchy self and start making up with all these people by writing diabetic articles on them that really hit nowhere:) Well, just remembered another category of irrritating traits...The spoilsports in parties,events and occasions who always have an eternal list of greater boring duties to perform in life, like say completing an important assignment at home or even gettin up early in the morning to get to office, so i need to move right now blah blah ! They are always somewhere else, and in the end, pratically nowhere.I suggest the world wouldnt miss you much even if u stayed back at home and carried on with your boring things to do! Believe me, boredom is your birthright, and you shall have it!Chalo then i hit the sack now coz i have to get to office early in the morning tomorrow. Oh wait,did i just say thaaaat? To end it where it all started, I suck!

5 comments:

Supernova said...

yippee! 1st one to comment :)
i agree on dis english ppl..worse is wen u get a "will u do fransip with me" requests.
ditto wid the i-hate-it club members
overall...a supremely pissed and bitchy post
ladies n gentlemen..plz put ur hands together to yet another dimension to SP *applause*

Spectator said...

dood !!! that kicks ass !!! i so want to listen to the audio version of this post !!! :D

n u r most welcome to the real world !!!

Surya, the Ayrus! said...

audio version eh?? cool call karta hoon tujhe... and i feel like a superman writing this post... so not me!!

Surya, the Ayrus! said...

@ supernova, shukriya ! and ya in ther lingo category theres another category i hate which uses "to" after wanna/gonna! You think the Americans stretched the word "want" to "wanna" just for fun? Someone tell them its a fancy "want to"!! Urgghhhhhhh!

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